Non-Stress Test, Hold The Non

*somehow this entry was posted without any text, let's try that again...

Well it's back to bed rest land for me. It was nice while it lasted (1.5 weeks) but it's all over. Oh well, the couch has missed me I'm sure.

So what happened, you ask? What did I do to land myself such a prize? It's because I'm a winner really. A winner of the "everything that can go wrong, will" pregnancy award. (Of course I realize things could be far far worse). After another high blood pressure reading at my last OB appointment, Dr. M. ordered non-stress tests (twice a week) at the hospital. The first one went fairly well. Husband was able to come with me since it was on a Saturday. There was a moment there where the less than forthcoming nurse failed to find Little Man's heart beat, but eventually she got her crap together and there it was. Other than having to sit there for an hour listening to the sound of drills and hammers as they remodeled the staff office, it wasn't that terrible of an experience. Thankfully my blood pressure was normal and our little one was doing just fine.

So today as I prepared for my second non-stress test (NST) I expected a similar experience, hopefully minus the heart beat scare and the hammering. No such luck. As I waddled through the L&D wing (no really the waddle is bad, it hurts to walk) I prepped myself for an hour of boredom. As soon as I checked in they led me back to my own personal room. No hammering. Whew! I got all hooked up to the monitors, woosh woosh woosh went baby's heart and I was happy. All ready to settle in. Then she took my blood pressure. Instead of telling me what it was she smiled and said we would just keep the cuff on and take it again a little later. Uh oh. Not what happened last time. My blood pressure had been perfect so they took the cuff off right away. Fabulous.

A half hour later the friendly nurse returned and checked me once again. Still high. I was also contracting pretty regularly and the baby wasn't being terribly active. Unfortunately that's what they are looking for, an active baby. In an effort to get him moving they brought me a gallon of ice water to drink and turned me on my left side. It was like magic. Within minutes my blood pressure dropped considerably and the bug began hopping around. What a good little boy! The friendly nurse decided she could go ahead and contact Dr. M. Before she left she asked how I was feeling. At which point I was forced to admit that I had a slight headache and upon further questioning revealed that I had had a headache on Monday as well. Not a good sign in the pregnancy world, but not unusual in my world. Off she went to update Dr. M. and I sat, still connected to the monitors.

Eventually the nurse returned. I was all set to be released (I had been there about an hour at that point) when I noticed something that looked oddly like a hospital bracelet. What is it for? Another patient I'm sure. I'm sooo out of here! "We're going to go ahead and run a blood panel and urinalysis before we release you. Let's just get this little bracelet on..." She then asked if I felt like I needed "to go." Um, lady, you just made me drink a gallon of ice water and I'm almost 38 weeks pregnant. What do you think?? Rather than fully removing the fetal monitors from my belly, she decided to leave them on and disconnect the wires from the machine. So there I am, waddling off to the bathroom to pee in a cup with big monitors attached to my belly and the long cords draped around my neck with the nurse waiting patiently by the bed. Let me tell you, peeing in to a cup with a huge belly, monitors and wires wrapped around me like octopus tentacles, is not an easy thing to do. If you think I got away with not getting pee on my hand you are sadly mistaken. Oh joy! Pregnancy is such a glamorous thing.

Once I return to the bed (hands thoroughly washed!) I find a vampire waiting for me. Or a lab technician. Whatever, same difference. Before sucking my blood she uses a hand held scanner to scan the barcode on my bracelet. I resist the urge to ask her how much I cost. She takes her two vials and my cup-o-pee and baby blue and I are left to enjoy my book and another gallon of ice water. One thing I've learned about L&D, they really like to force the water on you. After about forty-five minutes my bladder reached maximum capacity and I was forced to buzz the nurse to let her know I needed to be disconnected once again. Instead of my friendly nurse, Glenda the Good Witch came in and perkily removed the monitors for me. Yay, no octopus tentacles! After relieving the intense pressure I returned to the bed and Glenda gasped "Oh my! Are you feeling all these contractions??" Why yes Glenda, I am! She batted her big eyes at me and with an eerie grin proceeded to tuck me in to bed. "Why don't you just lie down and take a little rest?" Actually, I'm... "It will be so nice. Here we'll just recline the bed." But my book... "And here, we can turn out the light." Click. There go the lights. She covers me in a blanket and then tells my friendly nurse that I'm going to have a little rest. The friendly nurse proceeds to tell me that they are still waiting on my urinalysis, but that my blood work looks good. Then they leave me there, all tucked in and ready for a nap.

As I lie there trying to rest it suddenly occurs to me that I am not tired. I do not want a "little rest," I want the light on and I want to read! How the heck did Glenda the Good Witch get me to do that? Defiantly I click the light back on and find my book. I'm pretty sure at 28 years old I don't need to be put to bed. Something about a perky nurse telling you that you need to makes it seem like you have no choice.

After another hour my friendly nurse returned and told me the baby is doing beautifully, that my blood work and urine were fine and I am free to go. The catch? Dr. M. is concerned about the elevated blood pressure combined with the headaches and I am now back on modified bed rest until further notice. She also briefly mentioned my white blood cell count was slightly elevated which could be an indication of a UTI but honestly at this point that is the least of my concerns. So, until my appointment tomorrow I am here on the couch. Back in bed rest land.