**WARNING! WARNING!** Danger Will Robinson!! Graphic details involving words like "cervix" and "mucus" ahead. Turn around now if you are at all prone to queasiness.
Lately I've been imagining my freedom from bed rest. Sometimes I picture myself bursting out of the doctor's office singing Queen's "I Want To Break Free" all the way to my car. Other times I am running in slow motion down the beach a la Bo Derek in "10," only instead of the weird braids and perfect body, my big ol' belly bounces joyously (and probably painfully) in front of me. At 34+ weeks I can almost taste my own freedom. Oh the places I'll go, the things I'll do. So many possibilities...
SCREEEEEEEEEEECCCCHHHHHH!!!! What was that? Oh, that? That was the sound of my freedom coming to a screeching halt. Time of death? About 9:30 this morning. After a sleepless night I woke up and stumbled out to the couch (sadly my normal bed rest throne, the recliner, has cat pee on it - thanks a lot Mr. Chatner!) and sat down to eat my breakfast. It was a normal morning, I signed on to instant messenger to chat with Husband and even enjoyed my daily bowl of Special K with vanilla almonds (mmmm!). After breakfast I reclined and began to enjoy my morning television routine. Suddenly (here it comes - TMI!!) a felt a small gush of liquid coming out of the nether regions. Ummm, what the heck was that? Do I call the doctor? Was it pee? Did the little Pee Monster just live up to his name and cause the ultimate pee accident? Nope there it is again. Definitely not coming from my urethra. Definitely coming out of the vaginal opening. Shit! Time to call the doctor.
After a quick discussion with the on-call nurse it was determined that I needed to head in to Labor & Delivery (L&D). Feeling a bit panicked I put in a call to Husband and Mom to let them know what was happening. Of course, as soon I got on the highway, the normally empty roads were completely backed up. Now they choose to do road work? Now! Seriously?? I may be leaking amniotic fluid and in labor with a 34 week baby and now is the time you choose to beautify our roads?? Thanks a lot crappy state government! Just what I needed!
A good twenty minutes later I pulled into the hospital parking garage and as calmly as possible dragged my big ol' self, along with several books and a lap top to the L&D wing. Don't laugh, last time I was there I was stuck for six hours with nothing to watch expect for Judge Judy and Primir Impacto, I think a few forms of entertainment were called for. After waiting with all the other pregnant ladies and their families I was finally taken back to my own room. Once again I dressed in their beautiful hospital gown with broken ties and the weird tube top like garment used to hold the fetal monitors in place and I was set. Ready for round four at our beautiful L&D.
Once all hooked up to the monitors the incredibly astute nurse asked if I was feeling nervous. Evidently my blood pressure was a bit high. Shocking right? I mean why in the world would my blood pressure be high? It's not like I was going through anything serious/stressful. No, I was just preparing to potentially give birth to my little baby boy six weeks early. No biggie!!! After several discussions with my OB over the phone it was determined that they would do a test similar to the fetal fibronectin test that would determine if my membranes had ruptured (i.e. check to see if my water broke), then if my contractions continued they would check my cervix. After the membrane test was performed (not too bad, just a super long q-tip swabbing my cervix for one full minute) they decided to go ahead and manually check my cervix. Not fun. Not fun at all!
At this point in pregnancy most women's cervixes are posterior, meaning the opening is facing more toward the back. I believe the ideal position for labor is for it to be anterior (front-facing). Because my cervix is posterior it is more difficult and more painful to check. Again, not fun. Propping my hips up on my own fists, the gentle nurse oh so delicately jammed several fingers up in to my cervix. Really, I suppose it could have been one finger, but it certainly felt like ten. Several "sorry's" later the nurse finished up as she told me that my cervix still felt long and thick, but that it was soft. Because I was posterior she had a hard time checking for dilation, but she "didn't think" I was dilated. Then the kicker... I'm not terribly squeamish when it comes to my own body, but I swear my Special K almost came up with what she said/did next. "You do have a little bit of extra discharge but that can be normal, see all of this... normal." Waving her purple surgical glove in my face I saw her hand for the first time. Let me tell you... it was like an elephant blew its nose on her. OMG OMG OMG!! Take it away!!!!!!! Gag reflex is kicking in... HURK!!!
After the great mucus debacle all Husband (who at this point had joined me) and I could do was wait. Thankfully, after a ten minute wait the membrane test came back negative. Hallelujah. Sooo, that kind of begs the question, what was it? The nurse explained that it was either extra discharge (hello elephant snot?!?!) or I peed my pants. I'm going with the elephant snot theory. I understand that many women have mistaken pee for amniotic fluid, but I am about 90% sure that this was not pee. If I thought it was pee I would definitely say so. I'm not embarrassed, it makes sense that the little Pee Monster, who is squishing up nicely to my bladder, might help me squeeze some urine out unexpectedly. This was not pee.
After some debate about how to treat my contractions I've fortunately since been released back to bed rest at home. So here I sit, dreams of freedom all but lost, updating you all on my latest adventures and fantasizing about my future away from the couch.
My water started leaking about 2-3 weeks before I delivered, despite this never being confirmed by a doctor. Every once in a while I would feel small gushes and rush to the bathroom. Finally, my first cervix exam doctor's appointment came around, and the doctor swore I had no leaks. Not 12 hours later, after a long walk, my water broke. Labor did not begin, so induction did. The doctor that happened to tell me there was no leak, happened to be the on call doctor that delivered me the following day.
ReplyDeleteI was 38 weeks though, so at least you are on bed rest and there are no long walks in your near future!
(Was the glove lubed? The "elephant snot" may not have been all from you... lol. )
By the way, I LOVE your blog. :)
lol, I supposed it could have been lube too, but sadly the part that made me particularly barfy was the stuff I know came from me. Not clear like lube at all. Blech!
ReplyDeleteWhen you were leaking did they do the test to see if it was amniotic fluid? Mine was negative, but now I'm wondering how accurate those are.
Nope, no test. I think I had just switched to weekly appointments when they checked, and at that point I think they figured anytime she came would be fine. They just did a manual test pushing on my bag with her fingers and pushing on my belly. Apparently that's the one time I wasn't leaking. I also lost my mucus plug around 36 weeks... although that wasn't a large amount of anything.
ReplyDeleteI think the fluid test is pretty accurate.
ReplyDeleteAnd if this happens again, make sure they do the test again. I have a scary story I won't share here, but believe me when I say that if I ever *think* I am leaking amniotic fluid, I will absolutely demand they do that test on me.