No Buttinskies Allowed

Occasionally in life people offer up unsolicited advice that makes you wonder 1. what crawled up their patootie and 2. who made them the boss? Sometimes these people might be in your own close circle of family or friends and other times it can come from a complete stranger. Either way, when receiving said "advice" you are bound to feel just a little irked. If you're a rational human being, and the advice doesn't turn in to down right pestering you might be able to blow it off. Smile on the outside, roll your eyes when the person isn't looking (maybe even stick your toungue out at them behind their back?) and move on with your life. Now imagine being seven month pregnant, on bed rest, running on very little sleep, and a mountain of stress threatening to come crashing down on you at any moment then receiving said unsolicited advice over and over and over. What do you do? How do you act? Do you still brush it off. Be the bigger person? Or do you totally flip your #&%@$ lid? You be the judge...

Being pregnant seems to make people think they have free reign to make comments about you and your personal life. It's an interesting phenomenon really. Buying a quart of ice cream at the grocery store pre-pregnancy? No problem. No one bats and eyelash. Try doing it while pregnant. I hear the result can be pretty brutal. Crazy old ladies telling you you are killing your baby. Cranky mothers whispering about how you'll never lose the weight that way. It's enough to make you want to throw the ice cream at their heads and run away crying (*note - not an actual experience of mine, but believe me, it happens). Having been on bed rest for the last seven weeks I have limited experience with the morons of the world, but believe me even I have had my fair share.

Prior to the bed rest I took Husband's car to Jiffy Lube for an oil change. That day there was a new woman working behind the counter. As soon as she honed in on my belly the "advice" started pouring out: don't hold him too much; give him honey water to help him sleep; make sure to breastfeed; give him cereal before he's six months, I did it with my boys and they are strapping young men! On and on it went. The longest twenty minute oil change of my life. I stood there, grinning and bearing as best I could until finally my car was done. I grabbed my paperwork and made a dash for the door before she could tell me to give the baby a little whiskey to help soothe him.

Luckily that was pretty much the extent of my experience with buttinskies, that is it was until I was put on bed rest. We have really been blessed to have so much help offered to us during such a stressful time. The people from our church have been amazing. They come by for visits, to clean, to bring meals by and who can forget the great unpacking debacle?? It has been really nice. Really. I promise. That said, recently one particularly nosy woman, a few years older than me (so apparently that much wiser) has started to put her little nose where it doesn't belong. I think it all started with the best of intentions (you know what they say about the road to hell and good intentions right?) so I've excused it. When you are stuck at home and people are volunteering to take care of you the least you can do is sit patiently and listen to their advice, no matter how ridiculous.

What do you do when the advice starts to become judgments though? "You drive yourself to your doctor's appointments?? Why doesn't Husband take you?" Followed by a disapproving look only a mom can give you. "Husband is going out of town for work for the day? Well I guess I'll have to stop by to check on you." Ummm, nobody's twisting your arm. I'm fine. "Did you take it easy this weekend?" Yep, sat around by the pool and went church, it was very relaxing. "Oh, so you didn't take it easy then?" More disapproving looks.

Jeez, you would think that I'm up running marathons or something! I have tried gently reminding her that I am on modified bed rest, not strict and that my doctor has approved light activity. In fact, the doctor has said I can do way more than I actually do, I'm just being extremely cautious. Then the comments about Husband not taking care of me... that's where I draw the line. Husband has been the most attentive person around. He works 12+ hours a day, comes home and helps me finish cooking. He cleans on the weekends and runs all of our errands. He brings me water and rubs my back. He is the best. Seriously. And if you try to imply otherwise I might kick you!

Still, I continue to ignore the judgments. She's concerned. She trying to help. She's not meaning to be annoying and rude. It's ok... Breathe... Then the final straw. It started off a normal conversation about pediatricians. If you take a look at my earlier post with the list of things to do, you will see "find a pediatrician" listed in bold. At 32 weeks it is an important item, but not urgent. As soon as she found out I hadn't found one yet she started in. "You really need to get on that! I have a great pediatrician. It's important to interview them to make sure it's a good fit. You NEED to take care of it!!!" You would have thought her head was going to explode. I calmly explained to her that I had in fact researched two different pediatric groups in our area and was planning on contacting them within the next week. She visibly relaxed then asked if I would like her to make of copy of the questions from her old pregnancy organizer. - Do they really make those?? What's to organize? - I said that would be nice and then the conversation moved on to less tense topics. That afternoon after she left I made two appointments with pediatricians. Yay, another thing to scratch off my list!

The next day, I find an envelope shoved into the door frame. When it falls to the ground I pick it up and examine it. What do you think is inside?? Sure enough, a copy of the questions with a note attached. "I think finding a pediatrician is something you want to sort out asap." OK, seriously 1. what crawled up your patootie? and 2. who the heck made you the boss of me?? BACK THE %$@# OFF!!!!!!

So, what would you do? Buttinskies are everywhere. You can't escape them. Do you blow your top and let them have it? Or do you continue to stick your tongue out at them behind their backs (or maybe you're more of a "give them the finger" type)? For now, I use my computer and the oh so generous ear of Husband to vent my frustrations so that I can continue to smile at the buttinskies of the world. Don't blame me though if these pregnancy hormones one day get the best of me. :)