Hospital FAIL

At my last OB appointment, after stripping my membranes, Dr. M. said, "If you haven't gone on your own by your NST on Saturday, I may want to just keep you at the hospital and break your water. Dr. L. will be on call but she'll be in contact with me." Soooo, what would that make you think? That if you don't go into labor by Saturday that you will probably be induced? Because that's kind of what I thought. Yet here I sit, Saturday night, at home with a baby still snuggled up inside my uterus.

It all started this morning around 3:00am. After one of my many trips to the bathroom (hello Pee Monster!) I gracefully climbed back into bed (imagine the dancing hippos from Fantasia) and wrapped myself up in my Snoogle, ready to doze off before my next hourly trip to the bathroom. My uterus had other plans however, as it suddenly and aggressively started to contract. So what, you ask? You've been having contractions for 12+ weeks. Yes, but not contractions that also felt like my worst days with Endometriosis. Like there was a large fishhook inside of me trying to pull my insides out. As I continued to lie there waiting for the misery to pass it occurred to me that we are going to have a baby. No really, like a real live baby! One we have to take care of. This thought and a few more painful contractions kept me up until about 6:00 when I finally drifted off.

Knowing that I had to call the Family Birth Center at the hospital at 9:00 to confirm my 10:00am appointment, I magically woke up at 8:30. I was ready to get the show on the road. Once again someone/something had other plans. They were full and after a couple more rounds of "when can I come in?" it was finally determined that I could have an appointment at 1:00pm. Husband and I decided to take that opportunity to have breakfast then run a few errands to take our minds off of what was ahead of us and also to try to jump start labor by walking all over creation. Just before we hopped in the car I made one last stop at the bathroom. *****TMI ALERT***** Imagine my surprise when I wiped and there, staring me in the face was a giant blob of blobbyness. Hello elephant snot!!! Although thoroughly grossed out I was also excited. My mucus plug had finally decided to depart. Maybe I would go into labor on my own!! Woohoo!!!

As Husband and I ran our errand my contractions started to pick up (woo!!). We went to Costco, the bank, the book store and to get lunch. By the time we were finished I ached all over and was ready to be checked in. We ran home, grabbed our bags (just in case the induction went forward) and we were off. At this point we were nervous but excited and ready to meet our little guy. Meanwhile, about an hour and a half away, my wonderful parents decided it would be best to start making their way down here. We all knew it was a possibility they would send me home, but with the contractions, the mucus plug, the cervical changes and the high blood pressure it seemed like a good possibility they might keep me.

Finally we arrived for our third NST. I informed the nurse that I was having contractions and of what I had found on my toilet paper that morning. Once again she strapped me in. Husband and I spent the next hour watching youtube videos of the weird guy from The Bachelorette who sounded like Kermit the Frog (hey, he just wanted to guard and protect her heart!) and reading from our respective books. Finally the friendly nurse from the last NST returned. Apparently she had a personality transplant between Wednesday and today because the "friendly" part was completely gone and in her place was an irritable nurse. She quickly informed me that I was fine, baby was fine and after speaking with Dr. L, the OB on call, I could go home. Wait! What? Go home? But our bags are packed. My contractions! My yucky plug! She didn't care. Finally I told her that DR. M. had mentioned wanting to induce and she quickly dismissed me by saying they don't do inductions on weekends.

As we gathered our belongings (don't worry we left our luggage in the car) Husband decided to ask a few questions. Would it be ok to walk to try to speed up labor. Irritable nurse snapped at him, "The important thing here is her blood pressure, not getting labor started! She needs to stay on the couch!" Um ok, that's not what Dr. M told me on Thursday, but whatever. Next question from Husband, since the blood pressure is such a big issue (as she just stated) "should we monitor her blood pressure at home?" Blank stare from irritable nurse. Speaking slowly as if we are morons "Her blood pressure is fine, I just showed you on the monitor, I don't see any need for that." Wait. So my blood pressure is serious enough that I have to stay on bed rest, but it is fine and I don't need to monitor it? Where did you get your nursing degree?? Do you even know what you are talking about? Ugh!

So here we are, sent back home to wait it out. Although I am grateful not to be induced I am also disappointed. We were both so ready to be spending the day in the hospital, ready to go through labor and delivery, and ready to meet our beautiful baby boy. Instead I'm sitting here, on the couch, eating Trader Joe's mac and cheese while Husband fights off a killer migraine in the bedroom. Poor guy, he looks as white as a ghost! At least he's not having to go through labor with me at the same time. Plus I guess it was a good trial run. Hopefully baby blue is coming soon.