That's me, not just fried, but deep fried. I can't even begin to describe the exhaustion. Luckily many of my readers are already mothers so I don't have to. Let's just say that every night G sleeps about 3-4 hours (nice right?) and then won't go back to sleep for about 2 hours. Nothing works. He doesn't cry. He fusses here and there, but mostly he's just awake. Eyes wide open and curious about the world around him. I always start with a good nursing session. If I'm lucky he drifts off. I attempt to put him down, but immediately he starts the dreaded grunting. That's the sign that sleep attempt number one has failed. The grunting turns into wiggling and then into crying. If I'm super lucky he also spits up, a-la The Exorcist. It shoots out his mouth and his nose with tremendous force. Understandably, G does not enjoy this, thus upsetting him further.
We transition into sleep attempt number two - the chest-to-chest cuddle. This frequently works during the day, but for some reason at night he thinks it's an invitation to nurse more. He roots around like a little piggy, snorting and crying when he doesn't get what he wants. Finally we transition into sleep attempt number three - the walk of shame - up and down the hallway we go, usually with a little bounce in my step. He loves to bounce! Sometimes we will also attempt to relax on the glider in the nursery or we'll try the swing. It depends on how much he resists the sleep. eventually he succumbs, his droopy red eyes closing tight, his breathing slows, and his body grows heavy. Down he goes and down I go. Wouldn't it be nice if I could say he sleeps for another 3-4 hours? It sure would! Does that happen? Nope! From then on he wakes up every hour until I finally give up and we get out of bed. Good times.
So how do I function during the day? No really, how do I do it?? I don't know. I think I spend most of my days in a bit of a haze. If I'm lucky the dishes might get done or maybe a load or two of laundry. I didn't go off on my own until this week. G and I made our first big trip to Target. G had a little meltdown in the bra section so I walked him vigorously up and down the aisles until he conked out. After that I was so exhausted I could hardly see straight so I probably ended up spending more than I had intended to. Whoops! Don't tell Husband! Then today I went to a new mom's group. I was so fried I just sat there. Most of the women there had older babies and seemed stunned that I was there at all. I don't know if I'll go back. Maybe once I come out of this newborn coma I seem to be in.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Pee Monster Strikes Back
Ever wonder what it's like to hold a screaming naked baby while having your picture taken? It's wet. Warm and wet. How do I know? Husband and I got the brilliant idea to do newborn photos at a local professional studio. The latest trend in newborn photography? Nudes. Not us, you dirty people!! The baby. Think sweet angelic sleeping baby, naked and cradled in his loving parents arms. So beautiful! Think Anne Geddes...
But what does it take to get those beautiful shots? What happens when you take a baby's clothes off? In a less than warm room? Never mind the waterworks coming out of his face. We're talking full on waterworks in the nether regions. And where does that pee go? Not just all over the floor, but all over one smiling Mama. Why smiling? Because I'm a professional. With a camera pointed at my face, I remain determined to get a good shot. Somehow I manage to shoosh the baby, calm his tears, get peed (and pooped) on, and still get a good picture. Interestingly enough every time Husband held the little Pee Monster he managed to get away dry. I was not so fortunate. I ended up driving home with my shirt soaked in urine and streaked with yellow poo. But at least we got the shot, right?
*A side note - G had his two week weight check with Dr. R. (the pediatrician) today. In ten days G has gained as many ounces. He has now passed his birth weight and weighs in at a whopping 8lbs 5oz. He's a champion eater!
Also, I went to see the nurse practitioner at Dr. M.'s office yesterday due to some intense pain I was having (it never stops right?). Turns out I have a lovely UTI. Yay me! So now I'm on antibiotics and hopefully this will be the end of my health issues. Hahahahahahaha!! Yeah right!
But what does it take to get those beautiful shots? What happens when you take a baby's clothes off? In a less than warm room? Never mind the waterworks coming out of his face. We're talking full on waterworks in the nether regions. And where does that pee go? Not just all over the floor, but all over one smiling Mama. Why smiling? Because I'm a professional. With a camera pointed at my face, I remain determined to get a good shot. Somehow I manage to shoosh the baby, calm his tears, get peed (and pooped) on, and still get a good picture. Interestingly enough every time Husband held the little Pee Monster he managed to get away dry. I was not so fortunate. I ended up driving home with my shirt soaked in urine and streaked with yellow poo. But at least we got the shot, right?
*A side note - G had his two week weight check with Dr. R. (the pediatrician) today. In ten days G has gained as many ounces. He has now passed his birth weight and weighs in at a whopping 8lbs 5oz. He's a champion eater!
Also, I went to see the nurse practitioner at Dr. M.'s office yesterday due to some intense pain I was having (it never stops right?). Turns out I have a lovely UTI. Yay me! So now I'm on antibiotics and hopefully this will be the end of my health issues. Hahahahahahaha!! Yeah right!
Friday, July 16, 2010
A Quick Update
While G sleeps for a bit I figured I would post a quick update.
After fasting for 19 hours (it was only supposed to be 10-12) I had my ultrasound done at the hospital. Dr. M. was pretty good about getting back to me and thankfully everything looked fine. Apparently I have some sort of cluster of blood vessels in my liver, but not to worry, that's most likely benign. (Really I could have done without knowing that information.) She decided it would be best to repeat the blood work just to check my liver enzymes again.
I went back to the hospital today for a final round of blood work where they tried to take the blood from G (back away from the baby!). Then they couldn't find my lab order and tried to tell me that I already had my blood work done on the 14th. Um, yes... I did indeed have blood work on the 14th and now I'm having blood work done again! Imagine that!! Once they pulled their heads out of the patooties and found my lab slip they stabbed me again and sent me on my way.
At 12:00pm I called Dr. M., as instructed, to get the results. The nurses there spent some time pulling their heads out of their patooties and finally got back to me at 3:30. My liver enzymes have mostly gone down to normal except for one and it has gone down considerably. So what do I do? Take Mylanta and hope it goes away! I kid you not. That's what she said. Cool, huh?
So... that's it. Hope I feel better soon! :)
After fasting for 19 hours (it was only supposed to be 10-12) I had my ultrasound done at the hospital. Dr. M. was pretty good about getting back to me and thankfully everything looked fine. Apparently I have some sort of cluster of blood vessels in my liver, but not to worry, that's most likely benign. (Really I could have done without knowing that information.) She decided it would be best to repeat the blood work just to check my liver enzymes again.
I went back to the hospital today for a final round of blood work where they tried to take the blood from G (back away from the baby!). Then they couldn't find my lab order and tried to tell me that I already had my blood work done on the 14th. Um, yes... I did indeed have blood work on the 14th and now I'm having blood work done again! Imagine that!! Once they pulled their heads out of the patooties and found my lab slip they stabbed me again and sent me on my way.
At 12:00pm I called Dr. M., as instructed, to get the results. The nurses there spent some time pulling their heads out of their patooties and finally got back to me at 3:30. My liver enzymes have mostly gone down to normal except for one and it has gone down considerably. So what do I do? Take Mylanta and hope it goes away! I kid you not. That's what she said. Cool, huh?
So... that's it. Hope I feel better soon! :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Here We Go Again
Ha! You thought because the baby was here my health problems were over... FOOLED YOU!! Just because the baby comes out doesn't mean your body gets better apparently. The day after giving birth to G the problems began. I had several episodes of near fainting and extreme nausea. At first they thought it was a reaction to the vicoden, then when it didn't go away at home we thought maybe I had a virus, but then it just kept on. Now, 8 days later we are seeking answers. So, here we go again...
Today I woke up with the usual nausea and fatigue, feeling like all my limbs were made of jello, and decided to put in a call to Dr. M. Haha, she thought she was done with me! Not so fast Dr. M.! You can't get rid of me that easily. After consulting with the nurse I was squeezed in for an appointment at 11:15. This was a bit of a problem since G had a pediatrician appointment at 11:45, but I figured my health was pretty important too so off we went. G got all packed up into his car seat carrier and my mom and I were off.
After arriving at Dr. M.'s office I was taken back to be weighed and have my blood pressure taken. Not good. In 8 days I have lost 21lbs and my blood pressure was in the 130's/90's. Great. Back to the exam room. As we sat waiting I got weaker and weaker, eventually succumbing to my lack of energy I had to lie down on the exam table. We waited and waited. Baby G slept. Mom held him. Eventually it was clear that we were not going to make our pediatrician interview and after a not so quick search for his phone number on my mom's iphone, we were able to reschedule (with a $25 cancellation fee). Finally Dr. M. arrived and after a quick exam ordered a huge list of lab work. Great.
Turns out the hospital thought they were getting rid of me too. Fooled them also. We ran over to the hospital right after the appointment where they took several vials of my blood and sent me home with "tools" to collect other "samples." Good times. After coming home ( we also went to Rite Aid for a prescription of nausea meds) G and I both conked out. Oh to have my energy back. finally around dinner time Dr. M. called. It's never good when the doctor calls. Never. Dr. M. started off with the good news. This test was fine. That test was fine. Blah Blah Blah. Cut to the chase Dr. M.! finally the bad news. Two of my liver enzymes were elevated, plus something else, I forgot what that was. So what does it mean? Possibly gall stones or residual pre-eclampsia. So... tonight I fast and tomorrow I go for an ultrasound. Great.
Any positive thoughts you can spare... I really would rather not have to have surgery for gall stones and would love to be feeling myself again so I can really enjoy my beautiful little boy who is perfect by the way!
Today I woke up with the usual nausea and fatigue, feeling like all my limbs were made of jello, and decided to put in a call to Dr. M. Haha, she thought she was done with me! Not so fast Dr. M.! You can't get rid of me that easily. After consulting with the nurse I was squeezed in for an appointment at 11:15. This was a bit of a problem since G had a pediatrician appointment at 11:45, but I figured my health was pretty important too so off we went. G got all packed up into his car seat carrier and my mom and I were off.
After arriving at Dr. M.'s office I was taken back to be weighed and have my blood pressure taken. Not good. In 8 days I have lost 21lbs and my blood pressure was in the 130's/90's. Great. Back to the exam room. As we sat waiting I got weaker and weaker, eventually succumbing to my lack of energy I had to lie down on the exam table. We waited and waited. Baby G slept. Mom held him. Eventually it was clear that we were not going to make our pediatrician interview and after a not so quick search for his phone number on my mom's iphone, we were able to reschedule (with a $25 cancellation fee). Finally Dr. M. arrived and after a quick exam ordered a huge list of lab work. Great.
Turns out the hospital thought they were getting rid of me too. Fooled them also. We ran over to the hospital right after the appointment where they took several vials of my blood and sent me home with "tools" to collect other "samples." Good times. After coming home ( we also went to Rite Aid for a prescription of nausea meds) G and I both conked out. Oh to have my energy back. finally around dinner time Dr. M. called. It's never good when the doctor calls. Never. Dr. M. started off with the good news. This test was fine. That test was fine. Blah Blah Blah. Cut to the chase Dr. M.! finally the bad news. Two of my liver enzymes were elevated, plus something else, I forgot what that was. So what does it mean? Possibly gall stones or residual pre-eclampsia. So... tonight I fast and tomorrow I go for an ultrasound. Great.
Any positive thoughts you can spare... I really would rather not have to have surgery for gall stones and would love to be feeling myself again so I can really enjoy my beautiful little boy who is perfect by the way!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Post-Partum Survey
How far along were you when you had your baby? 38 Weeks 3 Days
How long was labor? Around 14 hours - induced at 6:00pm and delivered at 7:55am
Total weight gain: 32lbs
Total weight loss since: according to the scale at home, around 20lbs
Did you get stretch marks? nope, thank goodness!
Did you deliver vaginally or by c-section? vaginally
Best moment this week: Giving birth and meeting our little boy!!
What I miss about being pregnant: Feeling him move around inside of me.
Thing I'm happy to have back: Not peeing every hour on the hour, coffee (in moderation) and walking without pain.
How big is baby: When he was born he weighed 8lbs 2oz. At our first pediatrician's visit he was down to 7lbs 11oz
Baby's temperament: He's very quiet. He sleeps all the time and even when he is awake he is very calm. he hardly cries at all.
What I am looking forward to: The next trip to the pediatrician and just watching our little guy grow.
How long was labor? Around 14 hours - induced at 6:00pm and delivered at 7:55am
Total weight gain: 32lbs
Total weight loss since: according to the scale at home, around 20lbs
Did you get stretch marks? nope, thank goodness!
Did you deliver vaginally or by c-section? vaginally
Best moment this week: Giving birth and meeting our little boy!!
What I miss about being pregnant: Feeling him move around inside of me.
Thing I'm happy to have back: Not peeing every hour on the hour, coffee (in moderation) and walking without pain.
How big is baby: When he was born he weighed 8lbs 2oz. At our first pediatrician's visit he was down to 7lbs 11oz
Baby's temperament: He's very quiet. He sleeps all the time and even when he is awake he is very calm. he hardly cries at all.
What I am looking forward to: The next trip to the pediatrician and just watching our little guy grow.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Welcome to the World
Baby G entered the world six days ago on July 6, 2010 at 7:55am (although some say 8:00). He weighed 8lbs 2oz and was 21 inches. This is the story of his birth. As most of my disclaimers go, if you don't like stories with a little blood and bodily fluids, this story might not be for you. Having a baby is a messy ordeal. It's also a long one.
As previously mentioned, the Thursday before I went into the hospital, I had my membranes stripped. Although that produced contractions, cramping and spotting it didn't seem to really get anything going. That Saturday I lost my mucus plug. Again, nothing. On Sunday I woke up feeling a bit off. Although they say you can't feel high blood pressure I'm pretty sure "they" are wrong. I started using my home blood pressure monitor that morning and was slightly concerned to see numbers like 140/94. When I stayed reclined it went down to 134/84 so I decided to just wait it out. Sunday came and went and on Monday I continued to feel off with a slight headache. Uh oh... Out came the blood pressure monitor. The numbers continued to be worrisome so I put in a call to the OB. No answer. I called again. No answer. In between calls I continued to monitor myself. At one point my blood pressure spiked to 160/99 then to 150/102. Panic started to set in. It was then that it dawned on me that the office might be closed (thanks a lot 4th of July weekend!). Immediately I put in a call to the after hours answering service. Sure enough the office was closed and I would have to wait for Dr. M. to give me a call back. After an hour of waiting and worrying, Dr. M. finally called. She wanted me to head to L&D for another NST, but said we should bring our bags just in case she decided to keep us. Husband and I calmly began the process of gathering our belongings. Although there was an air of excitement we managed to keep it together. We had been here before, ready for an induction only to be sent home. We were both hoping this time would be different.
Upon arriving at the hospital at 4:15, we were led back to a room where the nurse immediately said that she was ready to begin the process of admitting us. Wait, what? We're being admitted right away? What about the NST? Apparently after speaking with me on the phone Dr. M. decided she wanted to just go ahead and keep us there as my blood pressure was just too dangerous. At that point the excitement turned into a small bubble of panic. This was it. An induction was happening. We weren't going home. We were going to have a baby, soon! As soon as the word induction was spoken a flurry of activity began around me. I was ushered into the bathroom to change into their beautiful hospital attire and then was sent straight to the bed. Out came the monitors, wires, needles and tubes. It was like a fascinating science experiment as we listened to the beeping of the monitors and woosh woosh woosh of little G-man's heart. I was checked by the nurse to find that I was still 3cm dilated but now 80% effaced. Immediately an IV was placed and fluids were being pushed into my system. They started the Pitocin (a drug used to intensify and regularize contractions) at 6:00pm on the lowest dose possible. I have heard horror stories about this drug so I was a bit worried about trying it myself, but obviously at this point I had no choice. At some point around then my parent arrived to offer their support. By 6:45 my contractions were becoming somewhat crampy, but not unbearable by any means. The excitement in the air was palpable.
By 8:00pm I was still feeling in good spirits and was more concerned with whether or not ABC would be broadcasting The Bachelorette as usual (the channel hadn't been working for over an hour) and if we would get to see the great Jake and Vienna showdown. Apparently the nurses in that hospital don't like to see laboring women in good spirits though because at 8:00pm, after a cervical check revealing I was 4cm dilated, they decided to increase my Pitocin. As they increased it they explained that Dr. M. would be coming at 9:00 (after she put her kids to bed) to break my water and they wanted to offer me an epidural as a sort of preemptive strike. Dr. M. has repeatedly said that she suspected that I would have more pain during labor than others because of my history with endometriosis. Although both Husband and the nurse seemed to think this was a good idea I declined the epidural and decided to try it on my own. As I watched the nurse increase my Pitocin my resolve weakened, but at that point it was too late, the decision had been made.
Luckily ABC pulled through and The Bachelorette came on. Unfortunately, I only remember about the first 20 minutes of the show. The increased dose of Pitocin immediately started to take effect. The pain from the contractions increased to something I find difficult to describe. Like the worst cramps you can imagine combined with a 300lb man standing on your lower back. Husband was amazing. He rubbed my back and told me to breathe. He held me when I cried and advocated for me when I couldn't do it myself. The pain increased and I began to writhe around in the hospital bed. At this point my memory gets a little hazy. I remember nurses coming in and out, my parents were there and then left to go to the waiting room. At one point I begged the nurse to let me out of the bed even though my blood pressure was still high. They finally acquiesced and I was allowed to stand at the side of my bed. Husband held me and swayed back and forth through the contractions. Eventually the pain, and my blood pressure, got out of control and I was forced back into the bed.
At 9:00pm Dr. M. arrived to break my water. After inserting a long yellow crochet hook (not really, but it looked like one) a hot gush of fluid came pouring out. Interesting sensation. Dr. M left and I started waiting. Almost immediately the contractions intensified. The nurses were fond of asking me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10. At that point my pain went from a 6 or a 7 to a 9 or 10. I felt like I couldn't breathe the pain was so intense. Desperate to relieve the pain, I tried to get up again. As I stood up, hot fluid started running down my leg and puddled on the floor around me. In a contraction haze I was sure I was peeing on myself. "Oh my God!!! I'm peeing!!! Oh my God! I'm actually peeing on myself!!" I looked at Husband in horror. I was somewhere in the middle of laughing and crying. Forgetting that I would still be leaking amniotic fluid, we paged the nurse to help clean up the pee. "Um, we seem to be having some sort of urine problem..." Husband said over the intercom. I can only imagine the giggles at the nurses station. A urine problem.
Eventually the pain became so unbearable that I gave in and requested the epidural. In the meantime they gave me narcotic called Fentinol to help ease the pain. I swear, as soon as the needle hit the IV I was gone. Staring up at the ceiling I felt like I was being pushed down the hall watching the lights pass over me. My brain was a thick foggy mess of pea soup, but my pain had subsided. At one point my mom came to the side of the bed and asked me how I was feeling. I told her about the drugs and she said, "So, are you feeling... special?" Special was just the right word. I've never felt so special.
Sadly that "special" feeling wasn't meant to last. Within twenty minutes the medication started to wear off and I was feeling the full force of the contractions again. Fortunately, Dr. S., the beloved anesthesiologist appeared at my door soon after. In he walked with his cart o' magic. I was forced to sit up (excruciating) but as he numbed my back I didn't care. In fact he could have given me the epidural without the numbing medication and I would have been happy. He and the nurse started chatting away, completely ignoring me as I writhed in pain. Presumably they were actually doing things to prepare but to me, the woman with a baby coming out of her, all I heard was their discussions of their vacations and his hurt foot. I wanted to yell at them to shut the f@$# up, but controlled myself. Finally Dr. S. got his S--- together and started the procedure. Husband stood in front of me as Dr. S poked a catheter into the epidural space of my spine. Sharp twinge. Where did you feel the pain? The left side. Another sharp twinge. OK, where did you feel the pain this time. The right side. Hmmmm. Hmmmmmm?? What does, "hmmmm" mean?? No "hmmmms" please, just do your job! Take my pain away! Later he told me he had only had one other woman ever tell him they could feel the twinge on both sides. I still don't know what that means.
After the epidural was finally in place, Dr. S. and the nurse sat back and continued to chat. I continued to writhe in pain. With each contraction Dr. S. asked me to rate my contraction. It's a nine! OK, great. Back to chatting up the nurse. Mooooaaaaan. How about that one? Still a nine! Great, and this one? A NINE!!! A big fat freaking NINE!!!!!!! Hmmmm. I wanted to yell at him to quit "hmmming" and do his job, but again I restrained myself. Eventually he got up from his chair and went over to his cart of magic. He pulled out a clear vial of liquid and injected it into the catheter. Relief, oh sweet relief. It started with a numbness in my right foot and then slowly moved all over my lower half. I felt completely numb from the waist down. I'm pretty sure I will never forget the sensation of seeing nurses move my legs and not being able to feel them moving.
With the relief of the epidural, Husband and I decided it was time to try to get some sleep. My parents decided they would also go out to their car and try to get some rest of their own. Throughout the night I was checked on by the nurses, but mostly Husband and I just slept. At one point I began to feel a sharp pain in my right side. I told the nurse and she decided to turn me to the other side as the epidural often works with gravity and most of the medicine was being delivered to my left side. Eventually the pain disappeared and I drifted off to sleep. At around 6:00am my nurse returned to check me. Husband stood up to hold my hand as she did the look of shock on the nurses face said it all. She informed me that I was 10cm and I was ready. She said that the baby's head was "right there," as in she could see his hair. As she went off to call Dr. M., Husband ran off to inform my parents we were almost ready. Unfortunately the nurse returned and said that because I was still so numb (it felt like my legs were dead) the doctor wanted me to "labor down." Basically I was forced to sit up so that the epidural would ease off and I would be able to feel my contractions. Boy did I feel them! I remember I kept thinking "Why are they doing this to me? Why are they making me hurt again??" As I labored down, the room began to buzz around me. Huge overhead lights were turned on, the bed was dismantled, stirrups were attached and large drop cloths were draped everywhere.
That's when the panic began to set in. This was it. I was going to have to do this. The baby was going to come out and I had to get it out. Overwhelmed I started to cry. Normally when I cry Husband melts and tries to comfort me. This time he was strong. He held me firmly and told me to "get a grip!" Stunned, all I could do was laugh. His words shocked me out of hysteria and into laughter. Although I was still feeling a bit panicked I knew we could do it. Dr. M. finally arrived at 7:30 and as they scrubbed me down they told me that his head was practically coming out on its own. With each contraction he moved down a little on his own. They told me that on my next contraction they wanted me to take a deep cleansing breath and then breathe in and push as hard as I could. Of course it was then that the contractions seemed to stop. We all sat in silence, wait, wait, wait.
Finally the first contraction hit. I pushed with all of my might. It was only then that my pain stopped and I could feel a burst of energy. I don't know where it came from, but I just knew how to push. Everyone around me coached me and encouraged me. Husband counted for me and told me to "pushpushpush!" The nurses breathed with me and the doctor told me I could do it. After three more contractions they grabbed an oxygen mask and through the fatigue I heard another nurse tell me that I had been doing a great job, but that on the next contraction they needed me to push as hard as I could. I needed to get the baby out (later I would find out the the baby's heart rate had dropped dramatically), Dr. M. said that she might do a "little episiotomy" if I didn't get the baby out on the next contraction. Not wanting to be cut open I felt inspired. With the next contraction I pushed four times and out my beautiful baby came. I heard a small cry come from down by the doctor and for the first time saw my son. They handed him over to me, placing his wet little body on my chest. The emotions were overwhelming. Husband and I kissed and cried over the joy of our little boy. He was here. After fourteen weeks of bed rest, stress and fear our beautiful boy was safe in our arms.
As we soaked in the love and joy, the doctor continued to deliver my afterbirth (not really fun), sew me up (hello 3rd degree tear!) and discovered little G-man had managed to tie a true knot in his umbilical cord. A phenomenon that happens in less than 1% of pregnancies and could have potentially been fatal. Our miracle truly was a miracle. He had survived preterm labor, high blood pressure, a dropped heart rate and a true knot in his cord. He was healthy and strong and he now he is ours.
As previously mentioned, the Thursday before I went into the hospital, I had my membranes stripped. Although that produced contractions, cramping and spotting it didn't seem to really get anything going. That Saturday I lost my mucus plug. Again, nothing. On Sunday I woke up feeling a bit off. Although they say you can't feel high blood pressure I'm pretty sure "they" are wrong. I started using my home blood pressure monitor that morning and was slightly concerned to see numbers like 140/94. When I stayed reclined it went down to 134/84 so I decided to just wait it out. Sunday came and went and on Monday I continued to feel off with a slight headache. Uh oh... Out came the blood pressure monitor. The numbers continued to be worrisome so I put in a call to the OB. No answer. I called again. No answer. In between calls I continued to monitor myself. At one point my blood pressure spiked to 160/99 then to 150/102. Panic started to set in. It was then that it dawned on me that the office might be closed (thanks a lot 4th of July weekend!). Immediately I put in a call to the after hours answering service. Sure enough the office was closed and I would have to wait for Dr. M. to give me a call back. After an hour of waiting and worrying, Dr. M. finally called. She wanted me to head to L&D for another NST, but said we should bring our bags just in case she decided to keep us. Husband and I calmly began the process of gathering our belongings. Although there was an air of excitement we managed to keep it together. We had been here before, ready for an induction only to be sent home. We were both hoping this time would be different.
Upon arriving at the hospital at 4:15, we were led back to a room where the nurse immediately said that she was ready to begin the process of admitting us. Wait, what? We're being admitted right away? What about the NST? Apparently after speaking with me on the phone Dr. M. decided she wanted to just go ahead and keep us there as my blood pressure was just too dangerous. At that point the excitement turned into a small bubble of panic. This was it. An induction was happening. We weren't going home. We were going to have a baby, soon! As soon as the word induction was spoken a flurry of activity began around me. I was ushered into the bathroom to change into their beautiful hospital attire and then was sent straight to the bed. Out came the monitors, wires, needles and tubes. It was like a fascinating science experiment as we listened to the beeping of the monitors and woosh woosh woosh of little G-man's heart. I was checked by the nurse to find that I was still 3cm dilated but now 80% effaced. Immediately an IV was placed and fluids were being pushed into my system. They started the Pitocin (a drug used to intensify and regularize contractions) at 6:00pm on the lowest dose possible. I have heard horror stories about this drug so I was a bit worried about trying it myself, but obviously at this point I had no choice. At some point around then my parent arrived to offer their support. By 6:45 my contractions were becoming somewhat crampy, but not unbearable by any means. The excitement in the air was palpable.
By 8:00pm I was still feeling in good spirits and was more concerned with whether or not ABC would be broadcasting The Bachelorette as usual (the channel hadn't been working for over an hour) and if we would get to see the great Jake and Vienna showdown. Apparently the nurses in that hospital don't like to see laboring women in good spirits though because at 8:00pm, after a cervical check revealing I was 4cm dilated, they decided to increase my Pitocin. As they increased it they explained that Dr. M. would be coming at 9:00 (after she put her kids to bed) to break my water and they wanted to offer me an epidural as a sort of preemptive strike. Dr. M. has repeatedly said that she suspected that I would have more pain during labor than others because of my history with endometriosis. Although both Husband and the nurse seemed to think this was a good idea I declined the epidural and decided to try it on my own. As I watched the nurse increase my Pitocin my resolve weakened, but at that point it was too late, the decision had been made.
Luckily ABC pulled through and The Bachelorette came on. Unfortunately, I only remember about the first 20 minutes of the show. The increased dose of Pitocin immediately started to take effect. The pain from the contractions increased to something I find difficult to describe. Like the worst cramps you can imagine combined with a 300lb man standing on your lower back. Husband was amazing. He rubbed my back and told me to breathe. He held me when I cried and advocated for me when I couldn't do it myself. The pain increased and I began to writhe around in the hospital bed. At this point my memory gets a little hazy. I remember nurses coming in and out, my parents were there and then left to go to the waiting room. At one point I begged the nurse to let me out of the bed even though my blood pressure was still high. They finally acquiesced and I was allowed to stand at the side of my bed. Husband held me and swayed back and forth through the contractions. Eventually the pain, and my blood pressure, got out of control and I was forced back into the bed.
At 9:00pm Dr. M. arrived to break my water. After inserting a long yellow crochet hook (not really, but it looked like one) a hot gush of fluid came pouring out. Interesting sensation. Dr. M left and I started waiting. Almost immediately the contractions intensified. The nurses were fond of asking me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10. At that point my pain went from a 6 or a 7 to a 9 or 10. I felt like I couldn't breathe the pain was so intense. Desperate to relieve the pain, I tried to get up again. As I stood up, hot fluid started running down my leg and puddled on the floor around me. In a contraction haze I was sure I was peeing on myself. "Oh my God!!! I'm peeing!!! Oh my God! I'm actually peeing on myself!!" I looked at Husband in horror. I was somewhere in the middle of laughing and crying. Forgetting that I would still be leaking amniotic fluid, we paged the nurse to help clean up the pee. "Um, we seem to be having some sort of urine problem..." Husband said over the intercom. I can only imagine the giggles at the nurses station. A urine problem.
Eventually the pain became so unbearable that I gave in and requested the epidural. In the meantime they gave me narcotic called Fentinol to help ease the pain. I swear, as soon as the needle hit the IV I was gone. Staring up at the ceiling I felt like I was being pushed down the hall watching the lights pass over me. My brain was a thick foggy mess of pea soup, but my pain had subsided. At one point my mom came to the side of the bed and asked me how I was feeling. I told her about the drugs and she said, "So, are you feeling... special?" Special was just the right word. I've never felt so special.
Sadly that "special" feeling wasn't meant to last. Within twenty minutes the medication started to wear off and I was feeling the full force of the contractions again. Fortunately, Dr. S., the beloved anesthesiologist appeared at my door soon after. In he walked with his cart o' magic. I was forced to sit up (excruciating) but as he numbed my back I didn't care. In fact he could have given me the epidural without the numbing medication and I would have been happy. He and the nurse started chatting away, completely ignoring me as I writhed in pain. Presumably they were actually doing things to prepare but to me, the woman with a baby coming out of her, all I heard was their discussions of their vacations and his hurt foot. I wanted to yell at them to shut the f@$# up, but controlled myself. Finally Dr. S. got his S--- together and started the procedure. Husband stood in front of me as Dr. S poked a catheter into the epidural space of my spine. Sharp twinge. Where did you feel the pain? The left side. Another sharp twinge. OK, where did you feel the pain this time. The right side. Hmmmm. Hmmmmmm?? What does, "hmmmm" mean?? No "hmmmms" please, just do your job! Take my pain away! Later he told me he had only had one other woman ever tell him they could feel the twinge on both sides. I still don't know what that means.
After the epidural was finally in place, Dr. S. and the nurse sat back and continued to chat. I continued to writhe in pain. With each contraction Dr. S. asked me to rate my contraction. It's a nine! OK, great. Back to chatting up the nurse. Mooooaaaaan. How about that one? Still a nine! Great, and this one? A NINE!!! A big fat freaking NINE!!!!!!! Hmmmm. I wanted to yell at him to quit "hmmming" and do his job, but again I restrained myself. Eventually he got up from his chair and went over to his cart of magic. He pulled out a clear vial of liquid and injected it into the catheter. Relief, oh sweet relief. It started with a numbness in my right foot and then slowly moved all over my lower half. I felt completely numb from the waist down. I'm pretty sure I will never forget the sensation of seeing nurses move my legs and not being able to feel them moving.
With the relief of the epidural, Husband and I decided it was time to try to get some sleep. My parents decided they would also go out to their car and try to get some rest of their own. Throughout the night I was checked on by the nurses, but mostly Husband and I just slept. At one point I began to feel a sharp pain in my right side. I told the nurse and she decided to turn me to the other side as the epidural often works with gravity and most of the medicine was being delivered to my left side. Eventually the pain disappeared and I drifted off to sleep. At around 6:00am my nurse returned to check me. Husband stood up to hold my hand as she did the look of shock on the nurses face said it all. She informed me that I was 10cm and I was ready. She said that the baby's head was "right there," as in she could see his hair. As she went off to call Dr. M., Husband ran off to inform my parents we were almost ready. Unfortunately the nurse returned and said that because I was still so numb (it felt like my legs were dead) the doctor wanted me to "labor down." Basically I was forced to sit up so that the epidural would ease off and I would be able to feel my contractions. Boy did I feel them! I remember I kept thinking "Why are they doing this to me? Why are they making me hurt again??" As I labored down, the room began to buzz around me. Huge overhead lights were turned on, the bed was dismantled, stirrups were attached and large drop cloths were draped everywhere.
That's when the panic began to set in. This was it. I was going to have to do this. The baby was going to come out and I had to get it out. Overwhelmed I started to cry. Normally when I cry Husband melts and tries to comfort me. This time he was strong. He held me firmly and told me to "get a grip!" Stunned, all I could do was laugh. His words shocked me out of hysteria and into laughter. Although I was still feeling a bit panicked I knew we could do it. Dr. M. finally arrived at 7:30 and as they scrubbed me down they told me that his head was practically coming out on its own. With each contraction he moved down a little on his own. They told me that on my next contraction they wanted me to take a deep cleansing breath and then breathe in and push as hard as I could. Of course it was then that the contractions seemed to stop. We all sat in silence, wait, wait, wait.
Finally the first contraction hit. I pushed with all of my might. It was only then that my pain stopped and I could feel a burst of energy. I don't know where it came from, but I just knew how to push. Everyone around me coached me and encouraged me. Husband counted for me and told me to "pushpushpush!" The nurses breathed with me and the doctor told me I could do it. After three more contractions they grabbed an oxygen mask and through the fatigue I heard another nurse tell me that I had been doing a great job, but that on the next contraction they needed me to push as hard as I could. I needed to get the baby out (later I would find out the the baby's heart rate had dropped dramatically), Dr. M. said that she might do a "little episiotomy" if I didn't get the baby out on the next contraction. Not wanting to be cut open I felt inspired. With the next contraction I pushed four times and out my beautiful baby came. I heard a small cry come from down by the doctor and for the first time saw my son. They handed him over to me, placing his wet little body on my chest. The emotions were overwhelming. Husband and I kissed and cried over the joy of our little boy. He was here. After fourteen weeks of bed rest, stress and fear our beautiful boy was safe in our arms.
As we soaked in the love and joy, the doctor continued to deliver my afterbirth (not really fun), sew me up (hello 3rd degree tear!) and discovered little G-man had managed to tie a true knot in his umbilical cord. A phenomenon that happens in less than 1% of pregnancies and could have potentially been fatal. Our miracle truly was a miracle. He had survived preterm labor, high blood pressure, a dropped heart rate and a true knot in his cord. He was healthy and strong and he now he is ours.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Hospital FAIL
At my last OB appointment, after stripping my membranes, Dr. M. said, "If you haven't gone on your own by your NST on Saturday, I may want to just keep you at the hospital and break your water. Dr. L. will be on call but she'll be in contact with me." Soooo, what would that make you think? That if you don't go into labor by Saturday that you will probably be induced? Because that's kind of what I thought. Yet here I sit, Saturday night, at home with a baby still snuggled up inside my uterus.
It all started this morning around 3:00am. After one of my many trips to the bathroom (hello Pee Monster!) I gracefully climbed back into bed (imagine the dancing hippos from Fantasia) and wrapped myself up in my Snoogle, ready to doze off before my next hourly trip to the bathroom. My uterus had other plans however, as it suddenly and aggressively started to contract. So what, you ask? You've been having contractions for 12+ weeks. Yes, but not contractions that also felt like my worst days with Endometriosis. Like there was a large fishhook inside of me trying to pull my insides out. As I continued to lie there waiting for the misery to pass it occurred to me that we are going to have a baby. No really, like a real live baby! One we have to take care of. This thought and a few more painful contractions kept me up until about 6:00 when I finally drifted off.
Knowing that I had to call the Family Birth Center at the hospital at 9:00 to confirm my 10:00am appointment, I magically woke up at 8:30. I was ready to get the show on the road. Once again someone/something had other plans. They were full and after a couple more rounds of "when can I come in?" it was finally determined that I could have an appointment at 1:00pm. Husband and I decided to take that opportunity to have breakfast then run a few errands to take our minds off of what was ahead of us and also to try to jump start labor by walking all over creation. Just before we hopped in the car I made one last stop at the bathroom. *****TMI ALERT***** Imagine my surprise when I wiped and there, staring me in the face was a giant blob of blobbyness. Hello elephant snot!!! Although thoroughly grossed out I was also excited. My mucus plug had finally decided to depart. Maybe I would go into labor on my own!! Woohoo!!!
As Husband and I ran our errand my contractions started to pick up (woo!!). We went to Costco, the bank, the book store and to get lunch. By the time we were finished I ached all over and was ready to be checked in. We ran home, grabbed our bags (just in case the induction went forward) and we were off. At this point we were nervous but excited and ready to meet our little guy. Meanwhile, about an hour and a half away, my wonderful parents decided it would be best to start making their way down here. We all knew it was a possibility they would send me home, but with the contractions, the mucus plug, the cervical changes and the high blood pressure it seemed like a good possibility they might keep me.
Finally we arrived for our third NST. I informed the nurse that I was having contractions and of what I had found on my toilet paper that morning. Once again she strapped me in. Husband and I spent the next hour watching youtube videos of the weird guy from The Bachelorette who sounded like Kermit the Frog (hey, he just wanted to guard and protect her heart!) and reading from our respective books. Finally the friendly nurse from the last NST returned. Apparently she had a personality transplant between Wednesday and today because the "friendly" part was completely gone and in her place was an irritable nurse. She quickly informed me that I was fine, baby was fine and after speaking with Dr. L, the OB on call, I could go home. Wait! What? Go home? But our bags are packed. My contractions! My yucky plug! She didn't care. Finally I told her that DR. M. had mentioned wanting to induce and she quickly dismissed me by saying they don't do inductions on weekends.
As we gathered our belongings (don't worry we left our luggage in the car) Husband decided to ask a few questions. Would it be ok to walk to try to speed up labor. Irritable nurse snapped at him, "The important thing here is her blood pressure, not getting labor started! She needs to stay on the couch!" Um ok, that's not what Dr. M told me on Thursday, but whatever. Next question from Husband, since the blood pressure is such a big issue (as she just stated) "should we monitor her blood pressure at home?" Blank stare from irritable nurse. Speaking slowly as if we are morons "Her blood pressure is fine, I just showed you on the monitor, I don't see any need for that." Wait. So my blood pressure is serious enough that I have to stay on bed rest, but it is fine and I don't need to monitor it? Where did you get your nursing degree?? Do you even know what you are talking about? Ugh!
So here we are, sent back home to wait it out. Although I am grateful not to be induced I am also disappointed. We were both so ready to be spending the day in the hospital, ready to go through labor and delivery, and ready to meet our beautiful baby boy. Instead I'm sitting here, on the couch, eating Trader Joe's mac and cheese while Husband fights off a killer migraine in the bedroom. Poor guy, he looks as white as a ghost! At least he's not having to go through labor with me at the same time. Plus I guess it was a good trial run. Hopefully baby blue is coming soon.
It all started this morning around 3:00am. After one of my many trips to the bathroom (hello Pee Monster!) I gracefully climbed back into bed (imagine the dancing hippos from Fantasia) and wrapped myself up in my Snoogle, ready to doze off before my next hourly trip to the bathroom. My uterus had other plans however, as it suddenly and aggressively started to contract. So what, you ask? You've been having contractions for 12+ weeks. Yes, but not contractions that also felt like my worst days with Endometriosis. Like there was a large fishhook inside of me trying to pull my insides out. As I continued to lie there waiting for the misery to pass it occurred to me that we are going to have a baby. No really, like a real live baby! One we have to take care of. This thought and a few more painful contractions kept me up until about 6:00 when I finally drifted off.
Knowing that I had to call the Family Birth Center at the hospital at 9:00 to confirm my 10:00am appointment, I magically woke up at 8:30. I was ready to get the show on the road. Once again someone/something had other plans. They were full and after a couple more rounds of "when can I come in?" it was finally determined that I could have an appointment at 1:00pm. Husband and I decided to take that opportunity to have breakfast then run a few errands to take our minds off of what was ahead of us and also to try to jump start labor by walking all over creation. Just before we hopped in the car I made one last stop at the bathroom. *****TMI ALERT***** Imagine my surprise when I wiped and there, staring me in the face was a giant blob of blobbyness. Hello elephant snot!!! Although thoroughly grossed out I was also excited. My mucus plug had finally decided to depart. Maybe I would go into labor on my own!! Woohoo!!!
As Husband and I ran our errand my contractions started to pick up (woo!!). We went to Costco, the bank, the book store and to get lunch. By the time we were finished I ached all over and was ready to be checked in. We ran home, grabbed our bags (just in case the induction went forward) and we were off. At this point we were nervous but excited and ready to meet our little guy. Meanwhile, about an hour and a half away, my wonderful parents decided it would be best to start making their way down here. We all knew it was a possibility they would send me home, but with the contractions, the mucus plug, the cervical changes and the high blood pressure it seemed like a good possibility they might keep me.
Finally we arrived for our third NST. I informed the nurse that I was having contractions and of what I had found on my toilet paper that morning. Once again she strapped me in. Husband and I spent the next hour watching youtube videos of the weird guy from The Bachelorette who sounded like Kermit the Frog (hey, he just wanted to guard and protect her heart!) and reading from our respective books. Finally the friendly nurse from the last NST returned. Apparently she had a personality transplant between Wednesday and today because the "friendly" part was completely gone and in her place was an irritable nurse. She quickly informed me that I was fine, baby was fine and after speaking with Dr. L, the OB on call, I could go home. Wait! What? Go home? But our bags are packed. My contractions! My yucky plug! She didn't care. Finally I told her that DR. M. had mentioned wanting to induce and she quickly dismissed me by saying they don't do inductions on weekends.
As we gathered our belongings (don't worry we left our luggage in the car) Husband decided to ask a few questions. Would it be ok to walk to try to speed up labor. Irritable nurse snapped at him, "The important thing here is her blood pressure, not getting labor started! She needs to stay on the couch!" Um ok, that's not what Dr. M told me on Thursday, but whatever. Next question from Husband, since the blood pressure is such a big issue (as she just stated) "should we monitor her blood pressure at home?" Blank stare from irritable nurse. Speaking slowly as if we are morons "Her blood pressure is fine, I just showed you on the monitor, I don't see any need for that." Wait. So my blood pressure is serious enough that I have to stay on bed rest, but it is fine and I don't need to monitor it? Where did you get your nursing degree?? Do you even know what you are talking about? Ugh!
So here we are, sent back home to wait it out. Although I am grateful not to be induced I am also disappointed. We were both so ready to be spending the day in the hospital, ready to go through labor and delivery, and ready to meet our beautiful baby boy. Instead I'm sitting here, on the couch, eating Trader Joe's mac and cheese while Husband fights off a killer migraine in the bedroom. Poor guy, he looks as white as a ghost! At least he's not having to go through labor with me at the same time. Plus I guess it was a good trial run. Hopefully baby blue is coming soon.
38 Week Survey
*Looks like I've made it to another post. Come on baby!!!
How far along: 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Supposedly I'm up 32 lbs, but I saw it and the nurse rounded up. WTF is up with that??
Maternity clothes: Yes, definitely. The belly just keeps getting bigger.
Stretch marks: Still no stretch marks.
Sleep: Still bad, but Benadryl helps a little.
Best moment this week: Finding out I'm 3cm and 60% effaced.
Movement: He still moves a lot, but the feeling has changed. I don't get the quick sharp jabs anymore. Now it's more like full body movements.
Food cravings: Nothing really.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: Ever since she stripped my membranes I've been having a lot of cramping and contractions but they still don't seem to be regular.
Belly Button in or out: Still mostly in, but it's definitely a very shallow hole.
What I miss: Coffee and sleep.
What I am looking forward to: Having a baby.
Other Updates: I have an NST later today and they may decide to induce me. I was really hoping I would go into labor on my own. :(
How far along: 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Supposedly I'm up 32 lbs, but I saw it and the nurse rounded up. WTF is up with that??
Maternity clothes: Yes, definitely. The belly just keeps getting bigger.
Stretch marks: Still no stretch marks.
Sleep: Still bad, but Benadryl helps a little.
Best moment this week: Finding out I'm 3cm and 60% effaced.
Movement: He still moves a lot, but the feeling has changed. I don't get the quick sharp jabs anymore. Now it's more like full body movements.
Food cravings: Nothing really.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: Ever since she stripped my membranes I've been having a lot of cramping and contractions but they still don't seem to be regular.
Belly Button in or out: Still mostly in, but it's definitely a very shallow hole.
What I miss: Coffee and sleep.
What I am looking forward to: Having a baby.
Other Updates: I have an NST later today and they may decide to induce me. I was really hoping I would go into labor on my own. :(
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Progress
*A quick update*
I went to the OB this morning where my blood pressure was still high. Dr. M informed me that she doesn't want me going past 39 weeks at this point. She told me that if things looked favorable in there she would go ahead and strip my membranes. She proceeded to "check" my cervix (felt like she was ripping it out) and judging from the excruciating pain I felt after she checked it I'm guessing things were favorable. Once she was done torturing me she popped her head back up and with a little glimmer in her eye told me that I was already 3cm dilated, 60% effaced and soft. Basically that means the baby is coming soon. Add the fact that my membranes have now been stripped and that means he's probably coming very soon.
So here I am, back at home, waiting for something to happen. I'm having more intense contractions, although they don't feel any more regular and very painful cramping. Like a bad period.
Here's hoping this is my last post before our little one arrives!
I went to the OB this morning where my blood pressure was still high. Dr. M informed me that she doesn't want me going past 39 weeks at this point. She told me that if things looked favorable in there she would go ahead and strip my membranes. She proceeded to "check" my cervix (felt like she was ripping it out) and judging from the excruciating pain I felt after she checked it I'm guessing things were favorable. Once she was done torturing me she popped her head back up and with a little glimmer in her eye told me that I was already 3cm dilated, 60% effaced and soft. Basically that means the baby is coming soon. Add the fact that my membranes have now been stripped and that means he's probably coming very soon.
So here I am, back at home, waiting for something to happen. I'm having more intense contractions, although they don't feel any more regular and very painful cramping. Like a bad period.
Here's hoping this is my last post before our little one arrives!
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